The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

"It reads like a diary because at one point it was my diary,” said Emmanuella Hristova of Bay Point, a local author and poet, who recently published her first book of poems entitled, The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder...

During her time in graduate school, Hristova melded her raw emotion and inner turmoil into a book-length collection of poems, but decided to let them sit for a while until she had fully processed her feelings. When she revisited her work nearly a year later, one of her close friends urged Hristova to publish her poems. After finding an editor and assembling the manuscript for an e-book, Hristova’s work became reality."

"Poet Emmanuella Hristova shares her very personal journey about loss and how poetry and writing saw her through some very tough life events. So, can poetry help you through dark times? 

There was once a time I wanted to die. Sorry, I guess this post should come with trigger warnings for a few sensitive topics. I assure you, no attempts were actually made on my life. But I will give you a trigger warning for suicidal thoughts—because that much was true.

When I think back on the worst period of my life, it often comes back to me a bit faded in memory. As if I had blacked out repeatedly after drinking too much, or as if my doctor had prescribed me heavy sedatives that affected my brain. The pressure of what I faced was like a printing press—pressing me down underneath a weight until I was crushed, with the stain of my body leaving some beautiful markings on paper."

"What’s the book about and who would benefit or like to read it?

The poems in The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder are about love, heartbreak, depression, and grief. The collection begins with the relationship—falling in love, hesitation, turmoil. Eventually, I chronicle the end of the relationship and dwell on the breakup. Two weeks later I find out my sister is dying from stage 4 cancer. And depression unfolds as a result.

Although I began writing about sexism, I chose to leave those poems for the final chapter. There, I tackle sexual harassment, sexual assault, and oppression. The poems move through all the emotions I’ve felt as a result—torment, sadness, anger and reveling glee. The final chapter is dedicated to grieving and healing women."

"My personal guidelines, when doing any review, are as follows: five stars means, roughly equal to best in genre. Rarely given. Four stars means, extremely good. Three stars means, definitely recommendable. I am a tough reviewer. I try hard to be consistent. For communication of personal events, this is about as strong as I can remember. Five stars it is, and highly recommended."

"Through truly heartfelt, gut-wrenching poetry, Emmanuella tells the deeply personal story of the rise and fall of a relationship, against the backdrop of the devastating sadness of loss. She is a lovely poet, who feels every word, not so much writing them as sobbing, then eventually roaring them onto the page. Written like a journal, its entries in prose, you do find yourself suspecting this book is the direct publication of a genuine diary this author composed. Whilst feeling somewhat voyeuristic, if this were indeed the case, you realize that she has a strong message toward the end of it, and does indeed want it to be read."

"The inexpression of my internal sexuality spilled out to my lips and my kisses tasted like disorder. This book 5 stars you say? TRY 5 MILLIONS STARS! I fell in love right from page .
The book speaks abuse, love, life, death, breakup, self love AKA EVERYTHING I LOVE!
It had a chronological order, in fact every poem was entitled with a date; we go thro a journey with the author, from having a friend to a bestfriend to a boyfriend to lust to love to happpiness to doubt to abuse to hurt to falling down to rising up.
all of this in 50 pages, I can honestly say that this author is a genius.
Here are my favorite poems, i picked only a few because i felt like you need to read from the start to get the journey right."

"How can one possibly rate someone else's poetry and words? It's so very personal, on both sides. For the one sharing and the one reading. It takes such courage to share one's inner most thoughts and put it out there for others. I loved this.

Beautiful and honest, Emmanuela has been able to put into words what so many of us have felt, and what our hearts have not been able to put into words. Hard and clean, in the way you feel after a good cry. Cathartic and real. Absolutely wonderful."

"Hristova's poetry is amazing. She crafts language in a way that is both beautiful and powerful as she tackles difficult subjects while promoting female empowerment.
One thing that I especially like about her work is how her poems do not each start on their own page. Instead, her poems will start towards the end of a page and continue on to a next, in a way that is fluid and helps the reader to visually feel the fluidity of her work.
The copy that Hristova sent to us also contains images of her artwork. This art only helps to show the depth and darkness of the feelings painted through her poetry.
So Dewey Readers, for those looking for a new and fresh poet, definitely check her work out! I rate her work as 5 out of 5 Coffee Beans."

"You should know that it’s not really easy for poetry books to sway me, but the book ‘The Day My Kisses Tasted like Disorder’ was NOT filled with nonsense and bad grammar like SOME of the other poetry books I read before. I loved how the author was capable to express her life’s story in such short yet beautifully poetic paragraphs.
A very short yet heart touching book about the author’s life on how she carries on living her life with a heart filled with sorrow. You’ll surely love it.
I’ll give this book a 3.5 out of 5 stars.
My favorite quote: “I spent a decade building a fortress around my heart, to protect myself from the pain inflicted from the outside invaders till one day I realized it was awfully lonely in this lofty castle I had built for myself because the only one inside was me…”

"The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder is a collection of poems written by Emmanuella Hristova and in her book she explores pivotal moments in her life, including the death of her sister and the ‘birth and death of a relationship.’ The poems laced throughout the book are moving as well as poignant and will provoke readers thoughts. The poems are mostly short and quick poems but just because they are short does not mean they have little meaning and poignancy, in fact, they are incredibly profound and will definitely stay in readers memories for a long time, and that is just one quality I love about the incredible The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder."

"Tell us about your cover art and how it pertains to your book.

The cover art is very special to me. It began as a painting that I completed while I was writing my book, when I was depressed over a spurned lover. It perfectly characterized the raw emotions I felt at the time through a bleak, black background and dark red paint splatters. When it came time to self-publish my book, I designed everything myself using Photoshop. My painting titled became the background, then I overlay simple text on top that included the title, my name, and a short description. I wanted something minimalistic, that could look good while small for the eBook market, and something that represented me and the themes of the book."

"Q: What do you hope readers will get from this book?
A: When I first began this book, it was my diary. It helped me heal through the most difficult part of my life. I took the time and effort to craft and edit what I had written during that time period, in order to give it to others so they too can heal. I published the most intimate parts of myself in order to help others going through a heartbreak or losing someone to cancer. I especially wrote it for women, as a lot of the poetry is written through a lamenting, feminist lens."

"Q: When did you start writing and why?
A: My latest book is a poetry collection titled The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder. I started it while I was a soon-to-be college graduate musing about feminist issues like street harassment. Eventually, I began writing about the romantic relationship I was involved with at the time, and about the man I was falling in love with. When that relationship ended, the poetry took a tumultuous turn into heartbreak that melted into a depression once I found out my sister was dying, two weeks after my break-up."