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EMMANUELLA HRISTOVA

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    Issue 3: The Goddess, a magazine by She Rose featuring "Resurrection" by Emmanuella Hristova

    My poem titled "Resurrection" has been published in She Rose  Issue 3: The Goddess

    GET YOUR COPY
  • Book cover for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Emmanuella's debut poetry collection documents the birth and death of a relationship, and the death of her sister. Each poem is an emotional time-stamp that plunges the reader into the depths of the author’s feelings as they burgeon and wane. The book reads like a diary and chronicles the boundaries of the things that we all feel: love, heartache, and pain that gives way to hope.

     

    Get a full-color printed copy here,

    or an eBook version on

    Amazon, iBooks, Barnes & Noble,

    Kobo, & Lulu for only $1.99!

     

    4.5 stars on Amazon

    4 stars on Goodreads

    4.5 stars on Barnes & Noble

     

    Read the reviews!

     

    Click here to read excerpts, or

    BUY EBOOK ON AMAZON US FOR ONLY $1.99
  • Button for a link to see Goodreads review of The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    4 Stars on Goodreads

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  • The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder  excerpts

    Read even more on Instagram: @emmy_speaks

    Red ink sketch of a hand squeezing a heart into a jar by Emmanuella Hristova

    upon identifying the day

    I knew I loved you

    the moment I saw you

    the second time I came to

    visit you in The City and you

    were wearing a cerulean button-down

    that matched your eyes and you

    had just shaved your beard and

    I wanted to kiss you, but

    not like a nervous first kiss or

    a slobbery wet one; but rather,

    the kind of peck lovers give to one another

    after being together for years and

    what they’re passing between their lips

    is time.

    Book cover of The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    October 9th

    I hesitate when you kiss me because I

    am afraid you will taste the disaster

    brewing underneath my skin. Or maybe,

    my kisses taste hot, like a dangerous

    sun storm raging on the broiling

    surface of our most familiar star. Or maybe,

    they taste cool, like a bubble rising

    to the surface above a deep ocean cavern that

    holds fountains of dark chaos

    beneath its depths. Or maybe,

    they taste fluid, like running the edges of

    worn book pages across your lips, inhaling

    the texture of clandestine paper and ink that

    spill out unknown stories. Or maybe,

    you kiss me because you are sucking

    the poison that penetrates out from

    the cocoon of my heart,

    pulsing through abysmal channels

    till it reaches the contours of my fingertips.

    You probably feel it like a heat on your skin,

    like an electric stove

    growing too searing to tolerate. Or maybe,

    you kiss me because you like

    the taste of disorder; to you

    it tastes sweet. To me

    it feels like catastrophe.

     

    Read more poetry on Instagram: @emmy_speaks

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  • publicity

    publications, articles & guest blog posts

    365 Days of Poetry

    "confinement" has been published in 365 Days of Covid, a poetry anthology by Sunday Mornings at the River.

     

     

    Get your copy on Amazon:

    US, UK, FR, DE, ES, IT, JP, CA, AU

    For Women Who Roar Issue 2: Power

    "The War Within Your Tongue" and "Socialism's Capitalist Daughter" published in

    For Women Who Roar Issue 2: Power

     

    Two new poems by Emmanuella Hristova featured in this online & print magazine for women by women.

     

    Order your copy today!

    East County Today

    "During her time in graduate school, Hristova melded her raw emotion and inner turmoil into a book-length collection of poems, but decided to let them sit for a while until she had fully processed her feelings. When she revisited her work nearly a year later, one of her close friends urged Hristova to publish her poems. After finding an editor and assembling the manuscript for an e-book, Hristova’s work became reality."

    Duffy the Writer - guest blog post

    "When I think back on the worst period of my life, it often comes back to me a bit faded in memory. As if I had blacked out repeatedly after drinking too much, or as if my doctor had prescribed me heavy sedatives that affected my brain. The pressure of what I faced was like a printing press—pressing me down underneath a weight until I was crushed, with the stain of my body leaving some beautiful markings on paper."

    That Feminist Life - guest blog post

    "The poems in The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder are about love, heartbreak, depression, and grief. The collection begins with the relationship—falling in love, hesitation, turmoil. Eventually, I chronicle the end of the relationship and dwell on the breakup. Two weeks later I find out my sister is dying from stage 4 cancer. And depression unfolds as a result.

    Although I began writing about sexism, I chose to leave those poems for the final chapter. There, I tackle sexual harassment, sexual assault, and oppression. The poems move through all the emotions I’ve felt as a result—torment, sadness, anger and reveling glee. The final chapter is dedicated to grieving and healing women."

    Review Tales by Jeyran Main - guest blog post

    ""It’s no secret that throughout my so-far short life, I have not been a stranger to pain. That is, after experiencing five familial deaths before the time I was twenty-five, among other brokenhearted experiences, the pain became far-too-familiar to me. But I also learned that during these moments, when I felt the weight of life crushing me, was when dark, reflective creativity flowed out of me the most. I learned that in order to create—one must go through pain."

  • Review Tales by Jeyran Main - guest blog post

    ""It’s no secret that throughout my so-far short life, I have not been a stranger to pain. That is, after experiencing five familial deaths before the time I was twenty-five, among other brokenhearted experiences, the pain became far-too-familiar to me. But I also learned that during these moments, when I felt the weight of life crushing me, was when dark, reflective creativity flowed out of me the most. I learned that in order to create—one must go through pain."

    Gotta Write Network - guest blog post

    ""I never intended to be a poet. And I never set out to write a poetry book either. What happened instead, was a series of tragic events that forced me to turn inward—into a diary. What began as feminist musings into a green Moleskin notebook after I graduated with my bachelor’s degree, turned into page after page about an unfolding romance. For, I was falling in love for the first time."

  • reviews

    Amazon, Goodreads & book blog reviews

    Screenshot of a five-star Amazon review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Five-star Amazon & Goodreads Review

    A Five-star Book Review by Jim Bennett

    "My personal guidelines, when doing any review, are as follows: five stars means, roughly equal to best in genre. Rarely given. Four stars means, extremely good. Three stars means, definitely recommendable. I am a tough reviewer. I try hard to be consistent. For communication of personal events, this is about as strong as I can remember. Five stars it is, and highly recommended."

    Screenshot of a five-star book blog review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Five-star Amazon & Book Blog Review

    A Five-star Book Review by Nada Hosny

    "The inexpression of my internal sexuality spilled out to my lips and my kisses tasted like disorder. This book 5 stars you say? TRY 5 MILLIONS STARS! I fell in love right from page .
    The book speaks abuse, love, life, death, breakup, self love AKA EVERYTHING I LOVE!
    It had a chronological order, in fact every poem was entitled with a date; we go thro a journey with the author, from having a friend to a bestfriend to a boyfriend to lust to love to happpiness to doubt to abuse to hurt to falling down to rising up.
    all of this in 50 pages, I can honestly say that this author is a genius.
    Here are my favorite poems, i picked only a few because i felt like you need to read from the start to get the journey right."

    Screenshot of a five-star book blog review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Five-star Amazon & Book Blog Review

    A Five-Star Book Review by Jeyran Main

    "The poems are also a beautiful and descriptive way of the author expressing her core emotions towards her encounters. It is a delicate touched natured work of what appears to be covering love, loss, and the feelings that each poem wishes to pass along.

    The literature was admirable, and I enjoyed how easy it was to understand the references and poetic lyrical nature of the work. Other poem books are just so hard to relate to or to understand, but this collection was quite the opposite.

    As one enters a relationship, they face the initial rush of love, excitement, joy and if it does not work out well, then the anger, loss, feeling down follows through."

    Screenshot of a five-star book blog review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Five-star Book Review

    A Five-Star Book Review by For the Love of Dewey

    "Hristova's poetry is amazing. She crafts language in a way that is both beautiful and powerful as she tackles difficult subjects while promoting female empowerment.
    One thing that I especially like about her work is how her poems do not each start on their own page. Instead, her poems will start towards the end of a page and continue on to a next, in a way that is fluid and helps the reader to visually feel the fluidity of her work.
    The copy that Hristova sent to us also contains images of her artwork. This art only helps to show the depth and darkness of the feelings painted through her poetry.
    So Dewey Readers, for those looking for a new and fresh poet, definitely check her work out! I rate her work as 5 out of 5 Coffee Beans."

    Screenshot of a five-star Amazon review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Five-star Amazon Review

    A Five-star Amazon Review by Gretchen Tolentino

    "Emmanuella’s poetry is very heartfelt and deep. Her poems are well-written and she’s an extremely talented author. This is a must buy! 🙌🏾❤️👏🏽"

    Screenshot of a five-star Amazon review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Five-star Star Amazon Review

    A Five-star Amazon Review by Christian

    "Unique and lovely, just beautiful”

    Screenshot of a five-star Goodreads review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Five-star Goodreads Review

    A Five-star Goodreads Review by Katie McClanahan

    "How can one possibly rate someone else's poetry and words? It's so very personal, on both sides. For the one sharing and the one reading. It takes such courage to share one's inner most thoughts and put it out there for others. I loved this.

    Beautiful and honest, Emmanuela has been able to put into words what so many of us have felt, and what our hearts have not been able to put into words. Hard and clean, in the way you feel after a good cry. Cathartic and real. Absolutely wonderful."

    Screenshot of a five-star book blog review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Five-Star Book Blog Review

    A Five-star Book Review by Red Headed Book Lover

    "The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder is a collection of poems written by Emmanuella Hristova and in her book she explores pivotal moments in her life, including the death of her sister and the ‘birth and death of a relationship.’ The poems laced throughout the book are moving as well as poignant and will provoke readers thoughts. The poems are mostly short and quick poems but just because they are short does not mean they have little meaning and poignancy, in fact, they are incredibly profound and will definitely stay in readers memories for a long time, and that is just one quality I love about the incredible The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder."

    Screenshot of a 4.5-star Amazon review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    4.5-star Book Blog Review

    A 4.5-star Book Review by Inksoaked Page

    "[Her] work is not just detailing trauma and suffering, you get poems that remind yourself of when you first fall in love. These reminded me of any relationship I have been, the honeymoon stage, where every new thing is wonderful and what could go wrong? Well, Emmanuella eventually takes off those rose-colored glasses and shows you. I enjoyed reading this work, and it was not a long read which is great for a person like who doesn't read poetry often. I give this book a 4.5-star rating and hope that others enjoy this piece as well."

    Screenshot of a four-star Amazon review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Four-star Amazon & Goodreads Review

    A Four-star Book Review by Matt McAvoy

    "Through truly heartfelt, gut-wrenching poetry, Emmanuella tells the deeply personal story of the rise and fall of a relationship, against the backdrop of the devastating sadness of loss. She is a lovely poet, who feels every word, not so much writing them as sobbing, then eventually roaring them onto the page. Written like a journal, its entries in prose, you do find yourself suspecting this book is the direct publication of a genuine diary this author composed. Whilst feeling somewhat voyeuristic, if this were indeed the case, you realize that she has a strong message toward the end of it, and does indeed want it to be read."

    Screenshot of a four-star Amazon review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Four-star Amazon & Book Blog Review

    A Four-star Book Review by MK French

    "Even the encroaching heartbreak is beautifully rendered, and I find that the poems about the pain of love are more striking to me than the joys she experienced in the beginnings. Reclaiming her identity as a woman, able to support others emotionally and stand on her own, is also a powerful section of the book. Some of that power is because she sees that from within the lens of the patriarchy trying to establish ownership over appearances and presence. It's certainly an experience that every woman can identify with, even if they haven't experienced assault themselves. That these poems follow in the wake of breakup certainly proves that emotions color memory; the heartbreak is vivid, so the memories of past trauma and her grief are also vivid. But out of that grief come some of the more beautiful lines that really speak to me, and I truly believe that it's the same for life: rising out of the grief, we'll come back stronger and more capable than ever before."

    Screenshot of a four-star Amazon review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Four-star Amazon Review

    A Four-star Amazon Review by MJ Meads

    "Potent and powerful, mandatory reading for feminists of all ages and genders. One doesn't often describe a poetry collection as a page-turner, or 'unputdownable', but I was compelled to read this in one sitting and would urge others to do the same. The collection starts, like all new relationships, full of hope, almost giddy and single-minded, but is soon forced to examine the very nature of relationships and one's own suitability for entering into them. The reader is taken on a dark and foreboding journey but one that remains at times flippant and darkly comedic, laughter is, after all, the best medicine. The author's choice to - in a matter of fact style - list the many cases of abuse or harassment she has received only serves to highlight the normality of such interactions and the compartmentalisation and trivialisation of them as a form of coping strategy."

    Screenshot of a four-star Amazon review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Four-star Amazon & Book Blog Review

    A Four-star Book Review by Amy's Bookshelf Reviews

    "Each [poem] written was heartfelt and shows triumphs and tragedies, and the in between emotions. It wasn't always clear where one ended and a new one started, but the words themselves were quite grand. I look forward to reading more by this author."

    Screenshot of a four-star Amazon review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Four-star Amazon & Goodreads Review

    A Four-star Book Review by ElizrdbthSpeaks

    "Personal, deep, sentimental, well thought

    are you a fan of poetry? i've always felt poetry is a very personal time, like almost so more personal than even a book ... and so many authors go so deep and dark, devealing into those personal heartfelt feeling and moments in our lives. poetry, poems ... so sweet ...but at times sentimental. might cause you to draw on your own love moments? great read. fun layout. but like all book or poems, poetry ... u might get something else from them? so fun. i enjoyed this read. check it out!"

    Screenshot of a four-star Goodreads review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Four-star Goodreads & Book Blog Review

    A 4-star Book Review by Romi Reads

    "I loved Hristova’s words and stories: they’re full of emotion and quite powerful. When I read in her biography that she’s writing a novel, I immediately got interested. She really has a way with words and I think her novel would be lovely to read!"

    Screenshot of a four-star book blog review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Four-star Amazon & Book Blog Review

    A Four-star Book Review by Nerd Girl

    "Emmanuella Hristova is a new to me author. Her book, The Day my Kisses Tasted Like Disorder is a collection of poetry that follow a certain time in her life. The poems are hauntingly beautiful and some relatable. If you’re a fan of poetry, I recommend you reading this collection. Even if you’re not, it’s a beautiful read and worth checking out. I give this 4 stars."

    Screenshot of a four-star book blog review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Four-star Goodreads & Book Blog Review

    A Four-star Book Review by Nadaness in Motion

    "Upon Diluting Myself" and "Upon Being a Woman" are the most powerful pieces in the entire collection. 10 stars each of these. "Upon Diluting Myself" is long but super powerful. It's also explicit, painful, eye-opening, and emancipating, all at the same time. Similarly, "Upon Being a Woman" is the most painful piece in The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Discord. It does have a lot of Spanish words, which I couldn't understand. The poem is probably the longest in the collection but speaks for a lot of women suffering from sexual abuse. "Upon inheritance" is a sad and painful piece that nearly made me cry. Last but certainly not least, The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Discord ends with "Here's to the Woman," Hristova's perfect conclusion to her emotionally raw poetry collection that I believe is dedicated to all women out there. This collection was hard for me to judge, but my overall rating is: 4 stars."

    Screenshot of a four-star book blog review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Four-star Amazon & Book Blog Review

    A Four-star Book Review by The Eccentric Trilogy

    "From a literary perspective, Hristova is extremely skilled in form and structure. Even without the illustrations, the way the words dance across the page, some bolder or larger than others, brings the poetry to life. October 18th especially induces a sense of emptiness with the lengthy gap between the brackets. I absolutely adore how the collection reads like a diary in chronological order to enable the reader a greater connection. She also intelligently crafts different tones, with increased repetition and a bold use of language in the more passionate poems."

    Screenshot of a four-star Goodreads review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Four-star Goodreads Review

    A Four-star Goodreads Review by Books Laid Bare

    "I thought the authors honesty was not just thought provoking but also beautifully honest. There was a brutal edge to much of what I read but if I think about it, I am sure that it had to be and for the most part I was grateful that it was. I’ll admit that on more than one occasion I cried, so hard at one point that my heart didn’t just break, I could almost feel the tears cleansing my soul.
    I loved this, I hold my hands up to say that I wasn’t sure that I would but I admit Emmanuella has won me over."

    Screenshot of a four-star book blog review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    Four-Star Goodreads & Book Blog Review

    A Four-star Review by Nightly Reading

    "This book was everything.

    What I love about this collection was that it was so freaking honest and raw. It’s like you’re reading her personal diary, it’s beautiful and heartbreaking and unbelievably relatable.

    If you’ve ever had you’re heartbroken you will see your pain and anger reflected in Hristova’s words. If you’ve lost someone your heart will ache as she recounts heartbreaking moments with her sister, and navigating the world after losing someone. She shares stories of her trauma, of how scary life is for a woman. Stories that are brutally honest and terrifying in their relatability.

    It’s an emotional rollercoaster & it really freaking hurt. I loved it. She took me down memory lane, it was painful and I shed some tears, but my gosh this collection was amazing!"

    Screenshot of a 3.5-star book blog review for The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder by Emmanuella Hristova

    3.5-star Goodreads & Book Blog Review

    A 3.5-star Book Review by Samama Reads

    "You should know that it’s not really easy for poetry books to sway me, but the book ‘The Day My Kisses Tasted like Disorder’ was NOT filled with nonsense and bad grammar like SOME of the other poetry books I read before. I loved how the author was capable to express her life’s story in such short yet beautifully poetic paragraphs.
    A very short yet heart touching book about the author’s life on how she carries on living her life with a heart filled with sorrow. You’ll surely love it.
    I’ll give this book a 3.5 out of 5 stars.
    My favorite quote: “I spent a decade building a fortress around my heart, to protect myself from the pain inflicted from the outside invaders till one day I realized it was awfully lonely in this lofty castle I had built for myself because the only one inside was me…”

  • interviews & features

    author interviews & book features

    Sunday Mornings at the River

    "Common themes that come up in my work are grief, faith, family, heartbreak, feminism and women’s issues, immigration and other social justice themes. They say that you write about what you know—and of course, I started writing to deal with my own grief and heartbreak after losing my sister to cancer when I was 24 years old. Writing also gave me a reprieve from the emotional issues that came along with my adult relationships. However, my writing reveals much of my personal background as well."

    VK Tritschler

    "The most powerful thing about it all is that writing gives us the ability to choose how we want to remember events, trauma, and suffering and how we want the world to remember us. We’re only a victim if we write that we are. We can be the hero, the overcomer, the warrior if we write that we are. Writing is the ultimate empowerment tool."

    Quiet Fury Books

    "The cover art is very special to me. It began as a painting that I completed while I was writing my book, when I was depressed over a spurned lover. It perfectly characterized the raw emotions I felt at the time through a bleak, black background and dark red paint splatters. When it came time to self-publish my book, I designed everything myself using Photoshop. "

    Dawn's Reading Nook

    "I started writing poetry when I was in graduate school, when I fell in love for the very first time. It was my first adult relationship and navigating all my feelings while student-teaching grew too overwhelming for my heart. So, my emotions spilled onto the page in order to empty my mind of the weight. At the same time, after the relationship ended, I found out my sister was dying. This was the most painful experience of my life—and I documented each changing feeling, each nuance, in my notebook and then tucked it away for some time. Nine months later, I had a book about love, loss, pain, grief, and overcoming."

    Just Hebe

    "Poetry becomes quick and easy for me when I have emotional inspiration. Sometimes I wish I had a different personality type, as in, I wish I was less emotional or sensitive. However, if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be able to write. Because powerful emotions induce profound art. Lately, I’ve begun with a line or two that I think is beautiful and makes sense in my head, and then I begin to form an idea and write it down. Sometimes I edit these little poems later, but sometimes I’m satisfied with the results as is."

    Books and Banter

    "My latest book is a poetry collection titled The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder. I started it while I was a soon-to-be college graduate musing about feminist issues like street harassment. Eventually, I began writing about the romantic relationship I was involved with at the time, and about the man I was falling in love with. When that relationship ended, the poetry took a tumultuous turn into heartbreak that melted into a depression once I found out my sister was dying, two weeks after my break-up."

    A Blue Million Books

    "When I first began this book, it was my diary. It helped me heal through the most difficult part of my life. I took the time and effort to craft and edit what I had written during that time period, in order to give it to others so they too can heal. I published the most intimate parts of myself in order to help others going through a heartbreak or losing someone to cancer. I especially wrote it for women, as a lot of the poetry is written through a lamenting, feminist lens."

    Renee's Author Spotlight

    book feature

  • ART

    Pink Illusion
    Citrus
    left eye
    nose
    right eye
    lips
    < /break >
    Lady Lazarus
    Le Corps
    Repression
    The Other Crown
    A Study in Mangoes
    Autobiography
    Fi
    Boy in Red
    Untitled
    Drowning
    Children of Togo
    Skeleton Study
    Boys in Jest
    Tell the World
    Girl in Charcoal
    Untitled (twin girls)
    Boys in Bloom
    Popsicle Toes
    Untitled, unfinished
    Midnight Snack
    The Fury of Metallic
    Rebirth
    Accra, Ghana
    Les Mouvement des Figures
  • SOCIAL MEDIA

  • bio

    artist | author | poet

    Photo of Emmanuella Hristova in front of the Eiffel Tower shot by Marissa Wu

     

    EMMANUELLA HRISTOVA

    Connect with her on Amazon, Goodreads or Facebook!

     

    Emmanuella Hristova was born in Oakland, California and grew up in the Bay Area. She is the third daughter to Bulgarian parents who immigrated to California shortly before she was born. She began drawing at the ripe age of four, and studied the fine arts for five years in high school. There, she received many art accolades including a Congressional award for her piece Boy in Red in 2009. In 2015, she received her Bachelor of Arts in Linguistics from the University of California, Berkeley. She began writing poetry at age twenty-four when she was in graduate school. She earned her Master's in Education from the same alma mater in 2017. Emmanuella spent two years as an English teacher in Richmond, California. During that time, she self-published her first poetry collection: The Day My Kisses Tasted Like Disorder. Her poems have been published in For Women Who Roar Issue 2: Power, 365 Days of Covid, and She Rose Issue 3: The Goddess. Currently, she is writing her second novel and seeking a literary agent for the first. She speaks English, Bulgarian, Spanish and is now learning French.

     

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    Photo © Marissa Wu
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